You're in a meeting, or a salary conversation, or a moment where you need to advocate for yourself. You know exactly what to say. You've practiced it. And then the moment comes, and you freeze.

When you picture a leader, who comes to mind? For most of us, it's an image shaped by decades of one type of person being in charge, and that person built the whole playbook. Executive presence. Be more assertive. Project more confidence. So much of the feedback women get is really just "lead more like a man." And when we try, it doesn't work, because it isn't who we are.

For every one woman who becomes a director, two leave. Women's representation at the VP and C-suite level has been stuck at around 30 percent for years, and it is not because women aren't getting there. It's because once they arrive, too many decide it isn't worth staying.

I once worked for a boss who couldn't stand me, and it taught me the real difference between a difficult manager and a genuinely toxic one.

I was reporting straight to the CEO, running an entire function, and there was no VP above me. I still couldn't get the title. I had no idea what I was doing wrong.

Most women I know are heads-down doing good work and assuming that's enough. It's not. The women who get promoted to VP and beyond aren't just talented. They've built a career brand, and they've done it intentionally.

Have you ever gotten advice that was completely wrong for your situation, from someone who genuinely wanted to help? That disconnect isn't random. It usually means you asked the right person the wrong question, or the wrong person entirely.

I was stuck as a director for five years. And the whole time, I was already doing the VP job. Reporting to the CEO, running the function, on the senior leadership team, no VP above me. I kept waiting for the title to follow.

My corporate career looks great on paper. VP, then EVP. But the road to get there was so much messier than it needed to be.

Most of us believe that if we impress our manager and make ourselves indispensable, the promotion will follow.